My Kingdom of Blah…

That’s the best title I could come up with. I usually like to come up with some kind of witty, fun, interesting title – but sorry…guess we’re all out of luck today.

Blah.

The last few days (ok… weeks…months…years…) it seems I’ve been full of blah. Others have noticed it as well. Things may amuse me, make me happy, get a rise out of me – but only for a short while. Then it’s back to the Kingdom of Blah.

Maybe what I think is Blah-dom is what the rest of the world calls “real life”. I can’t remember ever in my life an extended period of time where nothing major has happened. My life tends to be a bit drama filled at times… I’m working on that. LOL But then again – even when “major” things do happen I return to my Blah kingdom rather quickly…

“Entering the Kingdom of Blah – Do Not Pass Go – Do Not Collect $200”

Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I’m deficient in some nutrient, mineral, vitamin or something. Maybe I’m lacking in something (ok never mind…not opening THAT can of worms…I know I’m lacking in a lot of things…too many to list here).

One thing I’m sure I’m still lacking in real, genuine personal interaction. I want “real” friends to just go, sit outside, shoot the breeze and have a beer/glass of wine with. I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes at me now. And yes, you’re right, I do a little “hanging out”, but it’s not the same. What I’m really looking for is far different than hanging out with associates or acquaintances   There are just too many people…no… really too FEW people who “really” give a crap…it’s all about appearances. *sigh*

I want a life. A real one…not one that is all smoke and mirrors.

Not many people really know me, including myself.  I’m still learning who I am, and that adds to my frustration.. Maybe that’s how things are in your late 40’s; anyone with whom you’re going to have a “real” connection should already be in your “friend portfolio” by now because you can’t seem to add them later. Or can you and I just haven’t figured out the secret?

I’m sure my residency in the Kingdom of Blah has more to do with my outlook than anything else. And the even odder thing here is that I am TRULY happier than I’ve been in a long long time. *sigh* I guess today I just need a kick in the rear or something. Mind over mood right?

Ok. So somebody kick me.

Fairy Tales

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is – it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

I’ve found that at the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important – happy ever after – just that it’s happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while, people may even take your breath away.

When there is nothing you can do…

Sometimes, you just have to realize that you cannot change what is happening around you.

….When the people you care about aren’t exactly who you expected them to be, or do what you imagined they would….When your ideals of perfect are not met….Yes, it’s times like those you must let go and accept.

Rather than betrayal, lies and manipulation, acceptance of the truth is necessary. And when I say truth, I mean the real truth, not some warped sense of reality.

People make choices. People will do things we do not like. There will be things we disagree with. There will be some things that will infuriate us to the brink of insanity.

But in the long run, we must remember that they are just that: choices. And our choices may not be accepted by others, just as we do not accept theirs. When it comes down to it, we must decide if it is really worth sacrificing our energy and time to make sly maneuvers to show that we do not like how a person is living their life and/or the choices they are making, or if we just sit back and know that, while things may not be the way we want them, these things are actually just fine.

You may not like it, but sometimes, you just have to accept it.