My Kingdom of Blah…

That’s the best title I could come up with. I usually like to come up with some kind of witty, fun, interesting title – but sorry…guess we’re all out of luck today.

Blah.

The last few days (ok… weeks…months…years…) it seems I’ve been full of blah. Others have noticed it as well. Things may amuse me, make me happy, get a rise out of me – but only for a short while. Then it’s back to the Kingdom of Blah.

Maybe what I think is Blah-dom is what the rest of the world calls “real life”. I can’t remember ever in my life an extended period of time where nothing major has happened. My life tends to be a bit drama filled at times… I’m working on that. LOL But then again – even when “major” things do happen I return to my Blah kingdom rather quickly…

“Entering the Kingdom of Blah – Do Not Pass Go – Do Not Collect $200”

Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I’m deficient in some nutrient, mineral, vitamin or something. Maybe I’m lacking in something (ok never mind…not opening THAT can of worms…I know I’m lacking in a lot of things…too many to list here).

One thing I’m sure I’m still lacking in real, genuine personal interaction. I want “real” friends to just go, sit outside, shoot the breeze and have a beer/glass of wine with. I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes at me now. And yes, you’re right, I do a little “hanging out”, but it’s not the same. What I’m really looking for is far different than hanging out with associates or acquaintances   There are just too many people…no… really too FEW people who “really” give a crap…it’s all about appearances. *sigh*

I want a life. A real one…not one that is all smoke and mirrors.

Not many people really know me, including myself.  I’m still learning who I am, and that adds to my frustration.. Maybe that’s how things are in your late 40’s; anyone with whom you’re going to have a “real” connection should already be in your “friend portfolio” by now because you can’t seem to add them later. Or can you and I just haven’t figured out the secret?

I’m sure my residency in the Kingdom of Blah has more to do with my outlook than anything else. And the even odder thing here is that I am TRULY happier than I’ve been in a long long time. *sigh* I guess today I just need a kick in the rear or something. Mind over mood right?

Ok. So somebody kick me.

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